I may stay that way for a few days.
A friend of the family’s died yesterday very unexpectedly from a massive cerebral hemorrhage. That combined with the fact he was about the same age makes for a few hours contemplating parts of life other than keeping up with the blog.
For instance, it’s dawned on me that even after all the changes I’ve made to what we talk about, there are several folks that still stop by with anything but good intentions. Newsflash! Get a life. Surely you can find something to float your boat instead of worrying about me. I won’t miss you either.
To those of you who hang around for fun, thanks so very much. I really enjoy our time together. I think there’s plenty of opportunity to enrich each other’s lives with ideas and worthy conversation. That’s why it’s still fun to do this. That’s why I’ll likely keep doing this for a long time. I’m glad we matter to each other even if it’s just a small way.
Yes, a week like this one smacks you with your own mortality. I’m at risk of oversharing here, but one of the hardest parts of watching this happen is the uncertainty of what happens next. I think it’s a good idea to get it all in order and then make sure the kids know how everything is set up for now. I don’t want to risk that fear if something should happen.
It’s also a huge gong of a reminder to get the paperwork in order and keep it that way. I think that’s what the next project will be. The corners of the house of looking pretty good, so it’s time to make sure the rest of life is buttoned down. Everything from the will needing to be updated now that the kids are older than 18 to my hosting password at godaddy.com needs to be easily accessible. I know it seems morbid, but it’s as much a part of life as dust bunnies under the fridge.
The other thing that’s come up has been pre-planning funeral arrangements. I’m not sure I’m ready to go that far right now, but everyone knows what I’d prefer. I left it open though. I figured I’ll be gone by then, so if they have specific wants, it’s still up to them.
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At first I thought I’d apologize for laying it all out here like I did, but then I realized I’m really not sorry. Death falls into every life. To me, it’s all part of the deal. I think it’s best to face it now and get on with it rather than let it haunt you into not living.
Cindy, I am sorry to hear about your friend. I don’t think it’s morbid to get one’s ducks in a row. My father died at the age of 56 and my mom was 49 at the time. He didn’t have anything in place so my mom was at the mercy of probate for quite a while. She then got her ducks in a row – prepaying her funeral, setting up her will, etc.. She lived almost 40 years beyond that and used to say that she felt good knowing all these things were taken care of for her and us. Your story is a reminder to me and my husband to get organized as well.
We’re good at closets – might as well expand our horizons.
Yes, we tend to not want to plan ahead when it comes to death. I do not want the traditional funeral. I don’t want my family to give the funeral business any more money than they have to! We have a friend that was making arrangements ahead and when choosing a coffin they suddenly showed her one $1000 more. She said “why is it more?” They answered-”it has inner-springs”. Enjoy life while you have it! Laugh!
I was just telling a friend this morning how much I liked Grandpa’s funeral. Graveside, quiet, a mason jar filled with wildflowers and honeysuckle. (I think there were other flowers too but those are the ones I remember liking.)
Works for me.
My mom’s funeral was very simple. She used to say, “A pine box is all I want or need.” (Like you, Jvee, she didn’t want to give any more money to the funeral home than needed!) We had a prayer at the grave site and then silence. I can still hear the birds singing and feel the sun on my skin. Then we all met at my aunt’s house for food, family, friends and memories. That was what my mom loved best – cooking for people she loved and laughing with them. It was a great celebration of her life and the legacy of love she left here on earth.
This discussion gives me several ideas for new postings. I need a staff, darn it. I’ll work on that right after I find that labor pool for all the things I need to get done at home.